I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
