You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
