I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
