Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Houston, we have a blender
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
