I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
