some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
