she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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