Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
