another moral hangover. fuck.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
