I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
