so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pants 0. Shit 1.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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