I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
