went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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