I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
