Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
