i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
