have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
