worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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