his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
