i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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