That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
operation have a gay friend backfired
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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