From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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