forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
