ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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