He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
