Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
