We're like a lot better than the average bears
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
