guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
