8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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