I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
my liver is dry heaving
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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