Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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