my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
