you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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