How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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