just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
