hell yes lets make some ravioli
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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