I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
