After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
