someone get that fucking seahorse.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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