Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
