We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
