TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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