I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My ass is underappreciated
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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