there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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