Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
