Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
