called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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