Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
