Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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