Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
babies were throwing up all over the place
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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