dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
