A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
