Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
