Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
