I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
