I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Randomize
