Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
